What Not to Wear - Airport Edition

I think I've made it pretty clear that I am really not cut out for traveling and my experience yesterday just proves this point further.

Last night I flew from Salt Lake to Denver. I got to the airport with plenty of time to avoid any dashing through the airport. The lines for security were short. My plane was on time. I thought I was in for a pretty uneventful trip. Wrong.

I was wearing my knee high zip up boots. I knew this wasn't going to be a convenient shoe choice but I wanted to have them in Denver and there wasn't room in my suitcase so I had to wear them to the airport. That proved to be my fatal error.

While in line for security I reached down to unzip them so that I could slip them off easily when I got to the counter. Much to my horror the zipper stuck! It had zipped over the fabric and I couldn't for the life of me get it unjammed. I was the only one in line for the x-ray machine and there were others open so I was hoping people would just choose a different line. No such luck. A guy, probably in his forties, came up behind me and asked me if I wanted his help. Really? I'd love to have a strange man trying to help me unzip my boots. I told him that I'd get it and to go ahead and go around me. He said, "No that's okay I can wait." Seriously? But he did just that. Stood there and watched me. The whole time.

By this time I was terribly embarrassed. My face I'm sure was bright red and I was starting to sweat. Then a TSA worker came over and told me to sit up on the counter where you put your bags to go through the x-ray because maybe that'd help. I was desperate at this point so I did what she said. So I was sitting up on the counter still struggling to get the zipper unstuck on my boots. I felt like a complete spectacle - I had an audience of all the TSA workers and my friend the forty year old fellow passenger.

As I was still fiddling with the zipper another TSA worker came over and said "let me try." So I stuck out my leg to her and she fiddled around for a minute and she got it! I was so relieved. I went through the rest of security with comments from all of the TSA workers along the way followed by the man who felt he needed to wait for me.

The flight went smoothly and I landed on time. I had checked a bag so I headed over to baggage claim and much to my horror guess who was waiting for his bag at the same carousel? The man from security! He looked at me and said, "hey boots!" He then came over and tried to have a full on conversation beginning with "I know why you wear those boots, they look good on you." Gag. Thankfully, my bag came quickly and I grabbed it and did the run/walk out to meet Danny.

Seriously, just don't let me loose in public.