are you missing a chicken?

Last night I was home alone because Danny was on a business trip. (He's home today so crazy stalkers need not come over.) I had a little to do list I was working my way through...yoga? check. organize linen closet? check. edit some pictures? check. catch up on Army Wives? check.

Then I came to the final item on my list...sweep the front porch and wipe down the bench and railings. They were all gross from a recent storm.

So I flipped on the light and stepped outside. And I noticed something out of the corner of my eye.

I looked over and saw this:


A TURKEY! No wait it's a CHICKEN! It FREAKED me out! I ran back in the house, slammed the door and locked it. I realized then that I am scared of chickens. I could just see that thing swarming me, flapping its wings in my face and pecking out my eyes.

After standing inside the door for a second I got up the guts and peeked my head outside again. The chicken just sat there blinking its eyes and looking at me.

By the looks of things, this was not the first night the chicken has slept there. There are poop and feathers all over the window sill! Gross!

I spent the night thinking I could hear the chicken in the house and feeling things tickle me. It was not pleasant. I also laid in bed trying to decide what exactly to do with a chicken. I considered making "FOUND: Black Chicken" signs and hanging them around the neighborhood. I also thought about somehow (I couldn't figure out the details) taking it to a farm. Then I started to feel bad for the dumb thing and thought about bringing it out some food. I didn't though. The thought of more poop deterred me.

This morning when I woke up, I peeked out the window to see if it was still there and it was gone. But there was the neighbor's cat pacing around the porch...